sex tips for people: when you see your boyfriend ‘pitch a tent’ (that is slang for getting an erection), say “looks like the circus is in town, good thing i’m down with the clown.” watch him try to resistant your juggalo charm
listen i don’t give a fuck if we’re friends, if we’re playing videogames i will show you no mercy. fuck you. be strong.
Found this from when I did the “sleep deprivation comics”. Evidently I had some kind of idea but then I scrapped it and stopped and I’m SO GLAD BECAUSE THIS IS A LOT FUNNIER THAN ANYTHING I COULD ACTUALLY THINK OF
freedom of speech means that the government is not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up. it doesn’t mean that i am not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up.
"i’m not bitter" i say, bitterly, with a bitter expression
"I’m not sad" I say sadly with a sad expression
"i’m not jealous" i say, with strong emphasis on the word jealous, following it with a forced laugh to show how not jealous i am
i am demisexual meaning i am only attracted to those born of gods or who are themselves a diety. move out of the way assholes, i’m gonna fuck zeus
Having (sort of) completed the game, I decided to give out some awards to its colourful cast. I’m sure this has been done before but screw you, I did my best.
I wanna cry
This is from a documentary called Animal Odd Couples. It’s available to watch on Netflix and it highlights a lot of different interspecies relationships such as this, as well as looking at whether animals experience grief. Thankfully, the little blind puppy in this scene regains his sight later on.
My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.
I still say this was hilarious fuck you guys
TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG
I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax evasion